I felt so alone last night. After I checked my mail, I went to the rooftop and danced to beat with Niz' player. And then, I crouched and cried for a while. I just felt so empty that time that I felt like going crazy. A lot of things were going on in my head. As in! I just hope that I can sort this out for better connection! Hehe.. I've read some of my friends' (high school) blogs and insecurity crept through my veins. They are so good!

I've mentioned Seth (one of OC's main character who resembles someone I know, or so he claims) right? Well, we have this weird kind of friendship.

While I was still at Anki's, we were talking about our common friends. He mentioned that he doesn't trust Louie's ex because she's lakawan. I was affected. I'm lakawan too, so it made me think that it really might be a turn-off for guys. Last night, Seth kept on checking if Sat night is on. I was tired but I also wanted to spend my night outside and so I went to his place. I only had a few gulps then I was out, very tired. We had weird topics. But it was fun though. I had this great feeling that we were just one tiny step from hooking up. It's just a matter of who's going to lean further. I'm proud of myself that I didn't give in to the moment but partly disappointed. No one knew, probably people who saw me getting inside his room thought that something happened. So my being demur doesn't really matter. But it's also my personal choice.

As for my friendship with Seth, I find it amazing that I kept up with it. He told me that he liked me (pessimist: lust/ probably because I was there) but I'm enjoying it. Unlike before that when someone would tell me that, I would freak out!

Anyhow, let's just see what would happen.. He's still together with his girlfriend. And I respect that, that's how I wanted things to be.

It's been weeks! I miss this page. Anyway, nothing much happened lately. With work taking up most of my time, then the rest would be for sleeping and avoiding people that needs to be avoided. Hahay..

Yesterday, I met up with Anki. It was an achievement since one of my plans for the weekend was Molino area. We had a couple of bottles at Lasa Festi then transferred to his place. It was cool coz' we weren't even that close and he took his time to make me feel comfortable. I knew him from my friends and we only met twice I guess. We had more bottles at his place and at around 2am, we slept. I had a good laugh this morning when he told me that he was still talking to me when we went to bed, he didn't realize that I was already asleep. I really was so splooked out. I only had 2 hours of sleep before I went to Festi. So as soon as my head hit the pillows, I was snoring to the bones (so turn off).

As for Eric, I don't know.

ISD on the floor: I made 5 sales last Friday.

Hmm.. Saturday night, we went sa office for the Oktoberfest. Saya! It was Ana's birthday by the way. Change venue at 3am to Embassy with Bixie, Sheila and friend, Ces, Andres, Cathy, Ron and ate Tess, and Eric din. October 8- Eric's birthday.

Later.. Alis na naman.. Love you people. Hope you'll love me back! Hehe..

I can really say that I was upset for the whole week. Sunday last week, I went to Tin's place for the baptism of her daughter. Lunch time, Judy sent me a message (I'll post it next time). I was really affected that time. Days following that, I tried to avoid everyone from the house. Monday, I sent a message saying 'sorry' and palugit for some things. She somekinda mentioned about 'stealing'. That sucked! That was worse than being kicked out of the room. Friday night, I saw her by the counter sa tindahan. I smiled, but unfortunately, she didn't acknowledge my smile nor my presence. Earlier, I dropped by the store; she came in. I didn't know what to do but I can sense that she's trying to avoid me. I made the first move and got out of the store. I'm tired of trying. It's like me against the whole house. F*cker.

For 9 Baclaran visits, God will grant your wish on the 9th, they say. I trusted and tried it. I was really passionate with what I was doing. And I asked for generally three things: good health for me and my family, to get to know me, and lastly, a job. I missed some Wednesdays but guess what, I signed my contract on the 2nd of August, a Wednesday, and that was supposedly the last day. Amazing right?

I started at HSBC Alabang on the 14th of August. I made friends with a few people and mostly spent my time with Lhenny, Kenj and Tin. I also met old ones like Daria, Dex, JC and Nang Ems. So far, CORE training is ok.. that was when I was in CORE.

After my contract signing, I didn't have the time to visit Baclaran. Worse, I haven't heard mass too.. So bad! But just this week, Wednesday, I tried visiting Baclaran again. It so happened that that next day (yesterday), would be our final assessment for the voice recording and it would be our biggest grade for the rating. And so I prayed for that..

Yesterday, I really thought I did so badly. I was very upset the whole afternoon.

Earlier, we had our graduation. I danced with energy. But when the certificates were handed out, I didn't have one. Emotion-narration aside, Perry gave me my Certificate Of Completion. I also had another award, Leaps and Bounds and a lunchbag with that. Cool!

He's so gwapo and so charming!

But God is still very good to me! I'm very amazed with everything that has happened!!!

I'm searching for a job in jobsdb right now.

I'm upset. Just now. Aunt told us to sleep already (my two cousins plus her are watching The Wedding koreanovela while I'm online). She then addressed to me that 'ikaw Malou, may trabaho ka bukas. Magnanakaw ka na naman ng tulog'. I don't know what's the right reaction to that but I'm upset. None other.

Yesterday was ate Joan's birthday. We ate at shabu-shabu. Pretty expensive.